MYSPACE OR OURSPACE: A Must Read for All

Editor's Note: I received an e-mail about the perils of kids using MYSPACE on line and it prompted this essay:

There was a time when parents and grandparents chose to sit on their front porches watching life unfold in their neighborhood. Now they sit in their living rooms watching crime shows on TV. Neighborhoods were safe then as there was ever a watchful eye on goings on. There was a time when children played with the kid next door creating a sense of familiarity and comfort. Davie would bring his friends home for grilled cheese sandwiches and they would all slop their muddy boots over the kitchen floor. My sister still tells the story when my nephew, six years old, would go door to door, ring the bell and announce: "Hi, my name is Todd, got any kids?"

Now we live in sterile boxes with no front porches. We glare at the TV instead of watching our neighbors children play on the street. We check our blog instead of pruning the roses in our front yard. We play video games in our rooms instead of hopscotch or basketball on the driveway. Children are isolated in the solitary confinement of a fear consciousness that imprisons them in their own homes. Parents act as guards that "protect" them by keeping them strapped into air conditioned boxes as they transfer them from one secure facility to another insuring that they never stray from the watchful eye of authority.

We live in a virtual world. We see our community not through our own eyes but through the selective and sensationalized looking glass of the TV news. We see our neighborhood through the windshields of our cars. We see the world through the computer screen. Most of our daily activities and even the basic design of our living spaces are focused on these three artificial mediums. Instead of knowing who lives around us we selectively choose a friend five miles away, a store ten miles away, a restaurant twenty miles away. Our communities are no longer real, they are artificially selected to cater to our personal whims and biases. All interactions are screened. Could it be that children have a need to explore humanity beyond the artificial "Trumanville" we so carefully construct. Could it be that the only way they can do that now, since they are constantly imprisoned in this virtual world of TV Screens, windshields, and computer screens, is to explore new communities on-line? Could it be that family values have been destroyed by the TV and the automobile? Our fear makes us seek anonymity yet could it be that anonymity is what invites danger into our midst?

Imagine for a moment if instead of driving kids everywhere and watching TV, parents took the time to sit on their front porch or work in the yard in the afternoons. Maybe kids could be kids again and walk home from school. Maybe they would be more physically fit. Maybe neighborhoods could flourish once more into a friendly, welcoming communities where we look out for one another. Maybe kids could explore and discover right from wrong right in their own town.

These communities still exist, but you have to make an effort to be part of them. We are building a brand new house with, you guessed it, a front porch big enough to sit and watch the neighbors. Liam, the teenager across the street, is fixing his motorcycle in the driveway. Nancy next door is harvesting her first tomato of the season. Case is taking his dog Montana for a walk and Tracy has just dropped by with her two little girls and a basket of cookies to introduce them to the new neighbors (us) on the street. Everyone knows that we are going away for a week of holiday and everyone will look out for the place while we are gone.

Family values can't be bought at Wal-Mart or Costco. They can't be learned from the 700 club or NBC. They can't be imposed by governments or religion. They evolve from a sense of commitment to our fellow citizens, from a sincere effort to connect with our surroundings, from a respect for interdependence on each other and the gifts of life. Quality family life requires a close community. Building a close community requires that we make wise choices about the way we choose to participate in life on this planet. Next time you turn on your TV or start your car, ask yourself this simple question: "Am I benefiting my community by doing this?" The world your grandchildren will inherit is made up of communities. Virtual or real, the choice is ours.